we all regardless of our spiritual beliefs have in common a past damaged by brain washing and mind control.
there is no doubt that our mental health has been affected to different degrees.
but we usually go and continue our life trying to patch the injuries on our own.. one of the reasons we find it so difficult to deal with the world is precisely that.
I have not received any therapy and I don't think it is necessary for everyone who leaves. Time and life have taken care of a lot of the negative emotions I felt after leaving.
Therapy is a good way, I think, to progress faster, but it is expensive. Even with insurance, they usually only pay 50%. It is a shame that mental health is not cared for in the same manner as physical health, but it just isn't.
a few weeks back, in the midst of the haiti tragedy, much discussion took place in cyberland about the tolerance [or indeed the insistence on] suffering by a loving god.
the furor over haiti has settled a bit [as unfortunately most tragedy is wont to do far too quickly in the human mind], but this persistent matter continues to chew at my subconscience.
today i came across this:.
You are asking a question that no one can answer. It is easy to skim over the question of God's allowance of suffering when life is good and it is a remote possibility. When you or someone quite close to you suffers, it is quite a different story.
It changes from a philosophical interest to an up close and personal ache that is never satisfied. I heard a funeral sermon lately where the minister stated that it just doesn't make any sense. Kinda surprised me that he would admit that.
This question used to eat away at me for a long time. I finally had to realize that there is just not a good or satisfying answer.
several weeks ago, a witness poster said that the rank and file at his cong were told by elders not to ask questions.
i may have misunderstood what the poster was saying.
has anyone on the forum heard anything like this?
I remember a when a couple came to the meeting from out of town. They were relatives of an elder and the woman raised her hand to answer during the watchtower study. The conductor called on her and she took the scripture quoted in the paragraph and showed why it had been misapplied.
All eyes were on her. The crazyiest part is that she raised her hand again later and the conductor called on her again. She gave the "wrong" answer again and then the conductor refused to call on her again. I bet he got an earful after the meeting from the other elders for letting her speak twice.
The meetings are NOT a place to ask questions. They have even used Paul's scripture about a woman remaining quiet and to question their husband privately to emphasize this. If you want to test out whether asking questions is ok at the meetings, try it a few times.
i disagree on some doctrine with the organisation.
yet, i also know these are the kindest,most loving people on earth.
such people must be guided by the holy spirit.
Rock music is from the devil? I think I heard that a long time ago-in the 60's. Why would you choose to listen to groups who use such disgusting lyrics as the ones you posted. Surely, you see there is a lot of rock music that is harmless.
We do not live in an all or nothing world. It is necessary to grow up and make decisions for yourself. You should be the same person whether the elders or anyone else is looking or not. That is real integrity.
my mom has been a jw since 1970. my dad, who died in 1994, became a dub in 1971. i have told parts of that story elsewhere on the board.. my mom remarried a couple of years later to a non-jw.
my stepfather and i get along very well, despite his background (cussin', former hell's angel, former navy seal, smoker)...generally quite rough..but underneath a decent guy.. i just called down to my mom's today...about 11am... stepdad answers.... where is my mom?
he says: "out doing her thing..." i say: "oh, you mean door knocking?
I hope things get better between you and your mom. Maybe when she finally meets your fiance and sees how happy she makes you, she will be happy for you. Always hated the baptism rule for shunning. It is so hypocritical.
i thought the fade was speeding up and there was light on the horizon for me and my family.
then yesterday my wife gets love-bombed and is ready to go back to the dubs.
i'm angry, cynical, depressed, disillusioned, you name it.. i don't know what to do for her.
Does your wife know about the concept of love-bombing? Sometimes just reminding yourself of the reason they are really showing you attention helps you to take a step back. Maybe a reminder is in order.
Hang on, the first year is the hardest. It takes time to rethink life without "paradise." Even if she goes back to the meetings, it won't last. She needs time to make a transition. Give her time and space, she will come around.
this is an email i received from my brother in law:.
after discussing with our family and several friends about the popular movie avatar, and the prevalence of "avatars" on the internet, we thought that other friends might be interested in what we found in our family worship research, tell us what you think:.
merriam-websterdictionary - avatar: the incarnation of a hindu deity (as vishnu).
The real reason that jws don't like Avatar is because the Navi are similar to many earlier people who saw God through nature. They lived in harmony with the land and the watchtower would probably say they "worshipped" nature. Kinda like the American Indians.
Too bad they can't see the beauty of appreciating nature without seeing demons along with it. The movie was good and had a positive message. That it what really matters because that is what you will take away from the experience.
My only criticism of Avatar is a lack of character development. I saw it in 3-D and I always like that experience.
captain code named sd-7.
self-destruct code 0-0-0-alpha-gamma-1.
this will be my final entry on jehovahs-witness.net.
Your initial post is full of integrity. No one can take that from you. Other people's opinions are just that.
Life is complicated. You will change your feelings about many things throughout your life. Adjustments are hard to make, but they are unavoidable.
If it is any comfort to you, I know of several young couples who had a sexual relationship before marriage that were just "privately or publicly approved" by the jws. Most couples have sex before marriage, it is a very natural process. It is much more important how you handle your relationship with your wife and children now.
i know some posters here went through or are going through some painful things right now because of no longer believing when they have a husband / wife that still does.
others were able to free the minds of their spouse.
i'm assuming the latter is a lot more rare.. anyone that wishes to share their story, please do.. i'm looking to pass the info on to someone who doesn't totally believe, but may marry a jw.
It went through the usual turmoil when I no longer attended. I made mistakes and so did my husband. I learned to try not to hurt his feelings and he learned to consider my new feelings too.
Things are good now and we love each other more than any silly religion. We have been married many years and I think that helps. The most important thing to get across when you leave is that you just DON"T BELIEVE IT ANYMORE. After that was established, things went much smoother.
No one should go into a marriage with secrets kept from one another. If one party does not believe in the jw religion, this should be made clear well before considering marriage. Once you are married, you may involve children in this dilemma and that just would not be fair.
Honesty is crucial to any relationship.
captain code named sd-7.
self-destruct code 0-0-0-alpha-gamma-1.
this will be my final entry on jehovahs-witness.net.
SD-7, you made me cry. I really hate the insanity of the false, but very real control that this religion can exercise over people's lives. You don't need to be a hero, you just need to be you.
